5 Questions with Dr. Shefali Tsabary, author of "The Conscious Parent"

 

What is a key component of being a conscious parent?

Becoming a conscious parent is realizing that in order to raise our children well we need tofirst raise ourselves into more connected and spiritually evolved beings. Our children are able to kindle this awakening within us but we are often unable to answer this call.  
 

How can one empower their children without letting them get too out of control?

When we understand that there are two aspects to their development, their essence and their ego, we will be better able to undertake this delicate dance. When we connect with our children’s essence and truly develop a soul partnership with their inner being, we are able to effortlessly empower them at a deep and fundamental level. When they act-out and are defiant, we then understand this to be a manifestation of their ego, not their essence. It is our task as parents to teach them to attune to their essence not their ego. In order to do this then, we need to help them contain their ego.Teaching them to “not get too out of control” is a natural element of conscious parent and emerges directly from the

relationship we share with them.

What did it mean to have Eckart Tolle endorse the book?

To have Eckhart Tolle endorse the book was a blessing indeed! His ability to understand the workings of the ego are pivotal for all of us as we try to free ourselves from its snares and engage with a more awakened state of living and relating.

What's the most intriguing chapter in the book for yourself?

I think there are many places in the book where the focus is on this relationship between the ego and the essence. I particularly focus on this relationship because it is here that we get stuck in our own lives and with our children. Understanding the manifestations of both is a key component to awareness and greater inner fulfillment.

You mention anxiety is a form of doing. What does that mean?

Anxiety occurs when our mind resists the current situation. It is because we resist the present situation in its as-is form, we feel we need to change it in some form or another. Sometimes we are able to make this change. Yet, at other times this change is difficult. We react to this difficulty from within. A typical way to react to this is through anxiety. It feels as if we are “doing” something

- as we cannot physically change it so we seek to control it in order ways: worry, obsessions, over-intellectualization, etc. In these ways we feel greater control over our ever-shifting realities. To engage with our present moments in the now is often too daunting. So we react. Anxiety is the most typical reaction.